Joke #462

Funny Prayer: Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

Joke #461

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? Ok you to, don't start anything.

Joke #460

Why did the jelly bean baby go to school? Because he wanted to be a smarty.

Joke #459

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Joke #458

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Joke #457

Joke #456

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Joke #455

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Joke #454

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Joke #453

Fighting for peace is like starting a public out cry for silence.

Joke #452

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Joke #451

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Joke #450

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Joke #449

Kids: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then for the next 16, telling them to sit and be quiet.

Joke #448

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Joke #447

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Joke $446

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Joke #445

Son: What does it take to grow up? Dad: We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Joke #444

What to say during an argument: The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Joke #443

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Joke #442

JOHN: I didn't use a recipe for the casserole - I made it from scratch from my head! BOB: I thought it tasted like sawdust

Joke #441

In the bible it tells us that God was a healer! Yeah I know, because God gave tablets to moses.

Joke #440

What do you call the computer teachers son? CHIP!

Joke #439

What do you call a carpentry teachers daughter? Giselle! (Chisel)

Joke #438

What do you call a music teachers daughters? Melody & Carol!

Joke #437

What do you call a math teachers kid? JUAN! (one)

Joke #436

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Joke #435

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.