Joke #434

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Joke #433

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Joke #432

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Joke #431

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Joke #430

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Joke #429

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Joke #428

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Joke #427

Atheism is a nonPROPHET organization.

Joke #426

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Joke #425

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Joke #424

A bus station is where a bus Stops. A train station is where a train STOPS. On my desk, I have a work station..

Joke #423

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it

Joke #422

Don't judge a book by its movie.

Joke #421

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Joke #420

Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking.

Joke #419

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

Joke #418

How to annoy people: Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Joke #417

How to annoy people 1 ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE 2 only type in lowercase 3 dont use any punctuation either

Joke #416

How to annoy people: Set alarms for random times.

Joke #415

How to annoy people: Wear your pants backwards.

Joke #414

How to annoy people: Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

Joke #413

How to annoy people: Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Joke #412

How to annoy people: Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Joke #411

How to annoy people: Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Joke #410

how to annoy people: Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep..."

Joke #409

How to annoy people: Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Joke #408

Bob: Doc, I have a fever. Doctor: You will have to take 4 cups of the medicine. Bob: but doc, I only have 3 cups at home, what can I do?

Joke #407

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.