Joke #262

What do you call a sleeping walking nun? A Roaming Catholic.

Joke #261

Wife point system: You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. 0 or it's something+5 You pummel it+10 It’s her cat-40

Joke #260

Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What could hell possibly be like? Endless home videos of the reunion?

Joke #259

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

Joke #258

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Joke #257

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you’re built upside down.

Joke #256

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. - Dick Cavett

Joke #255

SMS Conversation: Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?

Joke #254

If you need advice, txt me... if you need a friend, call... if you need me, come... if you need money... SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

Joke #253

Life Question: If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

Joke #252

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it for ¢.50

Joke #251

Police Quotes: "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours at least you know someone who can post your bail."

Joke #250

Police Quotes: "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

Joke #249

Police Quotes:"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

Joke #248

Office realities: A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Joke #247

Statistics Mathematician: 43% of all statistics are worthless.