Joke #55

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.  I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

Joke #54

Did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, they spell "THEIRS"?

Joke #53

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

Joke #52

What can you do in radiation-contaminated rivers?
Nuclear fission.

Joke #51

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Joke #50

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Joke #49

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.